Uyuni and the Salt Flats

Bus ride took up most of the day and about the most interesting site of the ride was the sea of plastic bags on the outskirts of Uyuni. Literally millions of plastic bags that have snagged on the ankle high vegetation giving the place an odd, perhaps even strangely beautiful look. Uyuni was a bit of a hole, dusty old town that people come to for the salt flats only really, but thats a good reason as they are stunning. Pretty sure Uyuni has one pub, which was humourously named ‘The Big Fun Pub’. Not sure about those Bolivians. For dinner though we went to an incredible pizza restaurant which was supposedly started by some Yank way back before he got bored of the place and left. The pizzas were still excellent despite the lack of his presence and was probably the finest Bolivian cuisine, despite it being Italian, that we had there. Few gentle aromas in our room later that night. Had our briefing for the Salt Flats tour then hit the hay. Was only allowed to bring a day pack for the 3 day trip which made things interesting, think Corry even resorted to turning the undies inside out to get a second use out of them, classy manoeuvre. First stop was the train graveyard, which was a pretty sweet spot to get funny photos with a whole lot of dinasourous (word?) trains. Then headed to the salt museum where we saw the various things the Bolivians do with the salt including using it to build things, making ornamental type things, and even using it as actual salt strangely enough. Afterwards we headed to lunch, had our first attempts at taking funny photos whilst waiting for it to be prepared. By funny photos I mean having various items and people at various distances from the camera and giving them distorted sizes. Bit of success, photos soon. Lunch was gold, then headed to some salt water ponds, pretty cool place, extremely salty water bubbling up from 12km down in salt, and took a bunch more photos including the now infamous naked ones of myself, Corry and Timothy Ashworth, bit of a ‘crack’ up. Facebook may get a working over at some stage, see for yourselves. Headed onwards to an ‘island’, which was actually an island as the salt flats used to be part of the ocean so it was made up of fossilised corals and now cactus too. Pretty awesome views of the salt flats, Corry almost cried he was so emotional about them. But in all honesty, its a stunningly beautiful place and I would actually say that it was my favourite stop so far, even above Machu Pichu, which we all know is indescribably describable. After the island we headed off through the salt, stopping at one spot to take more funny photos, build pyramids out of salt bricks, and watch the sunset, which was beautiful. Headed on again to the accomodation which was made out of salt and which also had a salt floor. Salt getting a bit much by this stage. Pretty classic dinner with a lot of laughs whilst reviewing the many photos of the day, it also involved far too much wine for the occasion, and also 12 sky rockets. Was feeling like scum in the morning and we set off early, had a long day driving through the desert looking at various rock formations, mineral lagoons of red, blue and green hues, and volcanic mountains. A really interesting day with some mindblowing sites, but also a very long day in the car, especially when u have Anthony Corry and Timothy ‘Frank and Beans’ Ashworth for company. But yes, a very rich and compelling day also, and even saw a twister. Pretty happy to get to the accomodation that night, bit of backyard cricket until I hit a huge 6 and ended the game, then sat down for lasagna and more wine. Early night after taking Timothy ‘I feel like a chunder and I might need a poo too’ Ashworth apart at cards as we were getting up at 4am the next day. When that time arrived, we headed off towards the geysers and mud pools. All the females were in a foul mood and Anthony ‘Cute’ Corry was also rather grumpy. Not a hindus hope in heaven of getting the famous Corry laugh out of him. Farking cold at that time in the desert so everyone was glad to stand next to the geysers and warm up, or even jump right through them, as well as to walk amongst the mud pools, which were absolutely shitting their pants and throwing mud everywhere. Walking that close would never be allowed in New Zealand so it was a super experience and got some cool photos in amongst the steam. Afterwards we headed to the natural thermal hotpools which were superb, great way to warm up and was mostly very relaxing apart from the bit where this fat japanese girl slipped and fell in, setting off a mini tsunami. But it was mostly very lovely. Bit of brekky then headed to see some more lagoons and mountains, pretty stunning, then the chilean border to drop off a couple of ppl from our car. Casually crossed the border illegally and had a bit of a walk around, interesting wee place. I’ll get rid of this one now, it was rather chilly in chile. Actually. We then headed back to towards Uyuni, long drive which took the whole day. Got a flat tyre in a fortunate position right next to one of the rare cafes in the desert so drank beer while the driver fixed that. Then drove off to the lunch spot, and onwards to Uyuni after that. Got another flat on the way so did what any normal person would do and took photos of us in the nude in the desert. All the time in the world for that sort of carry on. Eventually got back to Uyuni where we had time to freshen up and shower for the first time in 3 days, then back to the same pizza restaurant for more jizztastic pizza. As our train wasnt leaving till 2am, we tried to stay up and a few of us hit up the Big Fun Pub. We were the only people there and our bartender was plainly uninterested so made our own fun. Timothy ‘She likes things beginning with C’ Ashworth drank from a phallic shaped vessel and Anthony ‘There is shit all over the walls’ Corry from a female-body-part shaped cup. Time for a bit of cards and a power nap at the hostel before jumping on the train. Being men, and tall, we were lucky and were in proper seats which reclined etc, so we got sleep. However, many of the women, bless their tiny souls, were stuck in cattle class, people and bags everywhere and many people crammed into fewer seats. Gutted for them. Arrived at Tupiza early in the morning where we copped it from them for our better class of travel, completely not our fault but we didnt help matters by rubbing it in. More on Tupiza and our arrival in Argentina in the next post